When is it OK to take care of YOU?

When should you forgo putting others first in order to take care of yourself?

I don’t know the answer to this question, and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully know how to answer it. However, I do think I’m learning more and more about this topic as I go through different stages and experiences.

I believe that we’ve all been blessed with certain gifts – there are things that we’re better at and things we’re not so good at. I am NOT a people person,  but my husband most definitely has the gift of interacting with others. He makes others feel at ease and comfortable. It comes very naturally to him. I, on the other hand really have to make an effort to speak to others, ask them questions, etc. I am NOT a natural conversationalist. Something I do think I’ve been blessed with is the gift of service.

I truly enjoy serving others. I like to do things behind the scenes and unexpectedly. I don’t want to be thanked or recognized. I don’t do it to get praise or recognition. I think I’m very sympathetic and adept at sensing what others need, and I really enjoy meeting those needs. Whether it’s putting folding my husband’s clothes, making copies for a co-worker, cleaning up the kitchen after Thanksgiving lunch so my mother/mother-in-law doesn’t have to, going over and above for a student, volunteering at school, etc. – I enjoy serving.

But, sometimes it comes at the expense of myself. I have a hard time determining when I need to stop doing things for others and take care of myself. When is it ok to say no? When is it ok to take care of me?

Take care of yourself

I’ve learned through many different trials and experiences that I DO need to take care of myself. If I’m worn out at the end of the week, because I’ve been doing things all week for co-workers and friends, I’m not going to be the wife my husband needs or wants me to be. I just sometimes struggle with where to draw the line, and recognizing when I need to stop serving and take care of me.

One reason I have a hard time with this is because, as a Christian, I know I am called to serve the Lord, serve others, and NOT to be selfish. When am I taking “me” time to really take care of myself, and when am I taking that time selfishly? I think this is a question that we must each answer individually. I am the only person that knows my motives. When it comes down to it, I suppose part of figuring out if I should serve or take care of me is knowing my motives.

You have to take care of yourself


Like I said, I don’t know the answer to this question, but I do know it’s something I’m learning more about. I’d love to hear your thoughts!!


Since we’re on the whole subject of treating ourselves, I’m linking up with Becky today for a little TYT– Treat Yourself Tuesday(<—head on over to Olives N Wine to check out how others are treating themselves!).

Treat Yourself Tuesday Badge

I actually didn’t treat myself to this, rather my school system treated me to a little extra time Monday morning. Check out that listing!

Photo Apr 07, 8 41 47 AM

We had really bad weather and lots of flooding on Monday morning, so in order to let the weather pass and the threat of severe weather to subdue, school was postponed 2 hours. I was able to enjoy a leisurely breakfast at home while catching up on my blog reading.

Photo Apr 07, 8 41 28 AM

Let me say, I’m a big fan of starting at 10am. I was one happy teacher! Smile

Let’s Chat…

1. What are your thoughts on serving others vs. taking care of yourself?

2. How have you treated yourself lately?


9 thoughts on “When is it OK to take care of YOU?

  1. While treating others well is always important, we have to remember to take care of ourselves first. As hard as it may be, if we aren’t happy and cared for ourselves, it will be impossible to help others! I love this post and it is the exact reason why I created TYT 🙂

    • Thanks, Becky! I know it in my head that I’m much more useful when I’m well taken care of myself, it’s just the follow through that sometimes gets me stuck. I LOVE your concept of TYT for the exact reason that it encourages us to remember that we deserve a little R and R, too!

  2. Since becoming a Christian I have always tried to live by the J.O.Y. acronym (Jesus first, others second and yourself last). I’m a Perfectionist (yes, capital P lol), and can use it to a detriment. I have had others explain that is important to nourish yourself spiritually, emotionally and physically so that you are equipped to serve others.
    Glad you had a leisurely Monday morning, what a pleasant surprise to kick off the week!
    Great post- it is SUCH a complex, fine line! 🙂

  3. I too of found myself in a similar situation. It wasn’t until Joshua and I sat down, had an emotional talk together & with God, where we were able to come up with what would work. Finding happiness is others truly should be the same on finding happiness within yourself – no matter if you are treating yourself to a nice bath, or a good meal out. Don’t forget about your needs too dear. I recommend reaching out to God and praying for answers ❤

  4. I also srtuggle with the “when is it selfish to put yourself first” type of question. As a Christian, often I feel guilty about putting myself first…but that’s because I do genuinly struggle with self absorption, if I’m being honest. It’s a toughie!!

    • Definitely a toughie! I think if we are all honest, we’re all a little more self absorbed than we’d like to admit. Sometimes I think I do things for others though so I can avoid dealing with things I need to deal with. Good to know you can relate…it’s nice to know we’re not alone in our struggles. 🙂

  5. I am also like you and love doing things for others. It’s important to take time for ourselves and make sure we do something we want for ourselves, like spending a couple minutes relaxing, or what not.

    Starting later is the BEST!

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