Who am I?
The path to self discovery, and self confidence is never ending. As we grow older and more mature, the more comfortable and confident we are with who we are and what we believe.
But, the path to this confidence is often a path laden with hardship and adversity. Finding your true identity can sometimes be a painful experience. But IT’S WORTH IT.
I want to share my ongoing experience in finding my true identity.
As I’ve mentioned, I’m recovering from an eating disorder. This used to be something I was ashamed of, something I felt the need to hide. And yes, I still feel this way sometimes. But, I’ve learned that this happens to be my struggle. But we all have our struggles; this is mine.
And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Don’t get me wrong…it has been HARD. There have been (and likely will continue to be) lots of tears, lots of guilt, lots of frustration, lots of uncomfortableness, and lots of sacrifice. But I’ve learned so much through it all.
I’ve learned that my identity is not in what I look like. My identity is not in what I can do, or in how perfectly I do it. It is not found in who my friends are, who my family is, what my job is, how much I do, how much I sacrifice, how “healthy” I eat, how little I rest, or how much I exercise. These things that I used to (and sometimes still do) find my identity in will change in an instant. If these things are constantly changing…how will I ever truly know who I am?!
I won’t. Through my eating disorder and recover, all these things have been taken away, and I’m actually thriving without these things weighing me down.
I’m stronger because of my eating disorder. My relationship with Christ is stronger because of my eating disorder. I can no longer put my identity in my looks, works, or abilities.
I’ve found that my identity is in Christ. Because when I find my identity in Him, it doesn’t matter what others think of me, what I look like, or what I can do.
He doesn’t care what I look like, what I can do, or how perfect I am. He knows me fully. He created me! And loves me and cherishes me regardless. What FREEDOM!
So, Who am I?
I am a child of Christ Jesus. I’m precious in his sight. I’m beautiful in his eyes. I’m beloved. I am just who He created me to be.
But, don’t be fooled! I still have plenty of hard days. I still have a hard time believing this more days than not. I still struggle. I have days when I let my mood and my self worth be determined by what I ate, how I exercised, how perfectly I did things, etc. But, those days are lessening.
My confidence is now more often than not, found in who I really am. On the inside. Which, when it really boils down to it…is all that matters anyway.
Since my eating disorder, and through my recovery, I am more real. My relationships are more real. My life is fuller and I am so, so, so much happier. I still have a ways to go on this journey, and I’m really looking forward to where it’s going to take me!
Whew! Thanks for letting me get all that out. It’s a topic that was laid on my heart and I felt the need to share. So, treat yourself this Tuesday to a giant serving of self confidence. You won’t be disappointed!
Thoughts! Tell me your thoughts on this topic!
Tell me something you have learned through tough times?